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December 13, 2020

The Man Law: “Don’t Fruit The Beer” Needs To Be Overturned.

               If you’re a young blood then you may be confused as hell with that title. Well, back in the early 2000’s, a little company named Miller Coors wrote the man law: “Don’t fruit the beer.” Here’s the proof:

As an elder 23 year-old myself, I grew up knowing damn well that my father, aka “Lumpy”, would never fruit the beer. Hell, he is so old that he thinks light beer is just water. I must say that I am a product of his creation because I won’t touch a light beer if a nice heavy beer is available.  I just don’t see the point of trying to drink less calories while sacrificing flavor AND the amount alcohol? Ever heard the “it makes me full”.  I guess I’m just “built different” because I can’t feel a difference in how full I am when drinking 10 busch lights compared to 10 PBRs. Go tell an Irishmen that Guinness just “fills you up too much” and he’ll drink more Guinness than you can bud lights.  Wait. Are we Americans horrible beer drinkers? The answer is most likely yes, but fuck it cause our beer is cheap as hell.

               Anyway, enough of my little light beer rant. I think we can all agree that this man law of “don’t fruit the beer” needs to be overturned. A lot of men are out here running wild with fruit in their beer.  Me being one of them. As a defender of masculinity, I’ll man up and say that fruit in beer is not always girly. Too many good choices to turn down:

  • Blue moon and an orange
  • Leinenkugel's summer shandy and a lemon
  • Basically any Mexican beer ever and a lime

That’s actually about the only beer/fruit combos I can name. And let me just say that I love them all.  Also, isn’t it funny that MillerCoors owns Blue moon?

By: Dr. Steve Corn


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