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October 12, 2021

The Biggest Fraud Product in Tailgating History Is A Chair

 

The quad fold lawn chair. These chairs are the biggest fraud product in the tailgating, outdoor, and sports industries. These quad fold chairs are more of a pain in the ass than something to relax in. How the hell did they beat out the classic single fold metal chair? I mean just look at how sexy these classic chairs are?!

 

Everyone has these fraudulent chairs. I can’t figure out why? They aren’t more convenient. The little carrier bag takes a tetris master just to get it on. It’s always a struggle slinging that sack over the chair. It’s like trying to put on your first condom. And don’t try and tell me that went smoothly for you… you full of shit liar. So after you’ve had a mental and physical war with that sack, you get one strap to carry it. I’m not a fan of strap-ons, but this strap-on doesn’t look good for you strap-on fans out there. It’s not enough strap to carry the chair efficiently. It slides off your one shoulder or chokes you out if you try to sling it over diagonally. Now maybe that’s okay for you if you are into getting choked. I don’t know how this blog got so sexual but here we are.

Anyway, is this quad fold supposed to make it easier to store away? They don’t stack up, they don’t stand up straight, so you end up leaning 4 of these bad boys in the corner of your garage. The single folds can at lease stack together on the ground or against a wall.

So I think the convenience factor is what got these dumbass chairs to sell. But have you ever sat in one? That will make you feel like a dumbass. Your butt sinks below your knees and your back is hunched over like mine is while typing this random blog. What’s even the point of the back rest? You can’t lean back or else those plastic legs will just shatter; like your ego when you snap those legs in front of everyone which makes everyone think you’re a fatass. You may be a fatass, but it’s not your fault those legs broke.

Not only that, but the entire chair itself is always breaking. The arm rests never stay up, the material rips at all the pressure points, the leg connections break out of their joints, and the cup holder mesh always rips. That cup holder is pointless anyway. It barely fits a can of beer and anytime you move you risk spilling that drink all over yourself.  You end up having to buy new chairs every 2 years, and you always just get the same shitty chairs.

This blog is really just a rant eh? Don’t fall for buying one of these stupid cheap chairs. Get the classic single fold metal chairs or bite the bullet and buy some super expensive version of the quad fold. It will save you some long-term humiliation, stress, and money. Lawn Chair USA makes the classics, makes them in the USA, and sells a lot of them for $69. Just an idea for ya.... https://www.lawnchairusa.com

Again, look at this classic beautiful chair. Can't beat the simplicity.

By: Dr. Steve Corn


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