September 29, 2021

Screw you if your car has this thing.


               Every cop has these things. Truth be told, I always thought they were mirrors. They aren’t mirrors. They are spotlights. You feel like an idiot now or is that just me? Nevermind. That has nothing to do with the moral of this blog. Cops have these spotlights.

It make you feel a little nervous when you drive by a cop even though you aren’t doing anything wrong. You know that feeling. It’s like when the principal talks to you in 2nd grade, and all you are thinking about is what you did wrong. Does he know my dog didn’t eat my homework? Did he see me run in the hallway? Does he know I forged my mom’s signature on the note saying I can go home to Jackson’s house after school?! When in reality, he is just taking a dump in the stall next to you, and you asked why his feet are so big. 

               Even the undercover cops have these spotlights. It’s like the biggest dead give-away that the driver likes to eat doughnuts. Or is it? It has to be right? Nope. For some reason, there are assholes out there in the world who drive their car to work with a fucking spotlight on it. Because you never know when you will need a spotlight right? Like what the hell? I understand the big huge spotlights for the country boys who are rippin’ through the country side at night. The last thing those boys want is to have their Cummins look like an undercover cop. The ONLY time it's allowed to look like a policeman is A.) Halloween - B.) Porn - C.) When the boys come over to watch a marathon of cops - D.) Reno 911 - E.) Male strippers - and F.) Your son's 5 year old cop/fireman themed birthday party. That is a super small list.

               I personally have never met someone with this spotlight on their car. They have to be assholes right? My case: 1.) No chance they use that spotlight EVER. 2.) This means the only reason they have it is to piss people off who drive by them. They know it makes everyone nervous because EVERYONE gets nervous when they notice an undercover cop. AND this just helps out undercover cops stay undercover since people might think it’s just another asshole.

               In conclusion. No chance people who drive a car with this specific spotlight have any friends. The person who drives this car is the same person who will randomly take your phone when you aren’t looking and just start going through it. And those people are psychopaths. If your friend’s car has one of these spotlights then you better look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I an asshole?” Because your friend is 1000% an asshole.

By: Dr. Steve Corn

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